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1.23.19 – Learning to Surrender

I often find myself wanting to hang on to things I was never meant to hang on to.

It seems “normal” doesn’t it? To want to hang on to what we have. What we have in mind for our lives, and what we want our lives to be. And yes, vision is a good thing.

But can we get to a point of being too in love with our lifestyle that we squeeze the life out of it?

I’m realizing that regardless of whether life goes the way I’ve had in mind for myself or if it goes somewhere I never intended it to go, I must be willing to surrender all.

There comes a point when we have to make the choice between ourselves, and His way. Whatever that way may be. Sometimes the way is the same, and sometimes it could be different. The lesson is in the learning to surrender.

I am suddenly at the place of not knowing exactly where I am heading. But do any of us ever truly know what our steps will be?

I have to learn to be okay with a surrendered way of life. This is the lesson I am learning at this place I’m standing.

I think by being in this place I’m learning a lot about myself. I am learning a great deal about my level of willingness to “let go”.

How many times have we sang that old hymn, “I Surrender All” and not even realized what we were singing? Are we really willing?

Regardless of where this life takes me, whether it takes me down the path of my dreams, whatever that is, or whether it be something different than what I thought I wanted, I know this lesson of “surrender” is important. It’s crucial. I must pause here and learn it. I must face it.

This realization of where I am in my willingness to surrender is honestly quite eye-opening for me. An area I’m suddenly faced with addressing before the Lord. I don’t like it. It’s ugly and painful. I suddenly feel like a big baby.

I didn’t want to write today. Yet, here I am again.

I don’t know why I write every day, why I’m so driven to write. It just comes. Sometimes later in the day I don’t even remember what I wrote about that morning.

But I think writing helps me to face things sometimes. Helps me to process.

Today, all I feel certain of is that the Lord loves me, and that He will direct me and lead me, but I must surrender all, regardless of where the path takes me. Learning these lessons within the journey almost seem more important than the actual “journey”. These lessons I am learning are crucially important. Yes, the journey is important, the destination is important, but if I don’t learn these lessons within the journey…. ?

What a hard lesson this one is. What a test. Facing this realization of where I am.

He’s doing a work in me though, and I know that He does good work.

“It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect.”

-Psalm 18:32

–Heather 🌺

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