Adventure, Anxiety, Challenge, Comfort, Fears, Habits, Hope, Identity, Insecurity, Intimidation, Journaling, Life, Love, Mindset, Morning Time, Pain, Personality, Purpose, Relationship, Social Anxiety, Thinking, Trust, Truth, Weakness, Worry

1.27.19 – Progress in the Making

It’s easy to forget about other people in the world when you stay away from them.

Yesterday, as we were photographing a festival for an editorial assignment, I kept thinking about all of the different lives out there. How the Lord has a personal relationship, or wants to, with each person in this huge world. How His love for each person is so incredibly huge and so incredibly customized.

If you know me then you know that being around too many people for too long wears me out. I can handle it for longer periods of time than I used to, but after a long day of being around crowds of people, I start to fade.

Yesterday around dinner time we were sitting with a group of people when that started to happen – I was fading fast. I was glazing over. My face had about given out. My smile quit working. I was ready to go into my head and tune everything else out.

I don’t like getting to that point. It makes me almost go into a panic, “Get me outta here before I turn into a pumpkin!” and before people think I hate them.

It’s hard to push past that in order to function and get through the rest of the evening without people thinking I don’t like their company or something. I was fighting it as hard as I could.

But I remember a time not too many years ago when I couldn’t even sit at a table with someone and have a short conversation with them in public. Social anxiety was that bad. I would want to hide under the table and sometimes, often times, I just ran from those kinds of situations. It was easier to avoid.

Sometimes I sense the Lord nudging me just a little further… enough that I stay challenged.

Enough that I am inched just a little further, enough that I have to fight a little bit harder. Enough that I have to push myself a little bit more than the day before. Enough that I ask, “How will I get though this?”

But I asked Him to do that, didn’t I? I asked Him to help me, I asked Him to grow me.

He’s faithful. Always guiding, step by step, one step closer…leading me into becoming the person He has always dreamed me to be. The person that I am deep inside.

It’s hard heading that direction sometimes, but I have to remind myself of what’s truly happening when it gets hard.

It’s progress in the making.

–Heather 🌺

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