Do you ever get in this place of… just getting really tired of your “own stuff?” Your own issues, your own situations, your own mistakes, your own achievements, your own failures, your own goals…..
It’s then that I realize that I’m focusing too much on myself, and not on Him.
Do you ever find yourself just plain sick and tired of it all? All the “me”?
I had a moment with the Lord yesterday. My heart felt burdened about some things, mostly frustrations about myself, and I just presented all of it to Him, and opened up my heart, just letting it all out — tears and all… asking Him all the questions, not holding back….
After a bit I finally began to turn my focus back on Him.
He has this way of doing that, you know? When we come running to Him with all of our frustrations, we open up to Him, and He has this way of bringing us back to where we should have our main focus.
….and it’s definitely not on ourselves.
As I sat down to just be with Him this morning, I had some questions, needing some direction about a few things as I suddenly found myself questioning my intentions, my own heart…. so I asked Him all the hard kind of questions.
But the interesting thing is after alllll of that….. I just kind of stopped and then said to Him…..
“Lord, I’m just sick of dwelling on myself, what’s on YOUR heart?”
And then I got up from my chair to pour some more coffee when I heard…
“….that My people would learn to love Me with their whole hearts.”
And then I sat back down and opened my bible up, it was opened to Isaiah 5…God and His vineyard — the people… the issues in the hearts of the people that would drive them away from God….
Then I continued into Isaiah 6, where Isaiah saw the vision of the throne, and the angels crying out to one another saying,
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;
The whole earth is full of His glory!”
Isaiah suddenly realizes his condition, his sin and unworthiness in the presence of such a pure and holy God, but then the angel takes a live coal from the alter and touches it to his lips saying,
“Behold, this has touched your lips;
Your iniquity is taken away, and your sin purged.”
As I’m reading all of this, reading further into Isaiah’s willingness to be obedient and honoring to God with his life, and to do it out of his love and devotion to God, even though the people would reject everything he would say to them, at the time of his life on earth, they would turn their hearts from God, and one day even reject Jesus…. but that one day, there would be a “remnant”… but see, God gave this rejected man a part in the grand story. ?
Isaiah lived a life that was devoted to God, he knew what the message he brought would do — it would distance the people even further away from God, because of the condition of their hard hearts…. but God knew what He had planned…. He knew what He was doing….
God’s plans are higher than ours, His ways are far beyond our understanding.
And then I remembered…
It’s never about how it seems, it’s never just one layer, it’s never about results, it’s never about even what happens in my little life….. it’s about what He can do with my part. It’s about what He can do with the whole.
He brings it all together…
But He reminded me this morning, that He is looking for those who are devoted in their hearts to Him. He is looking for those who will live a life of worship to Him — a life of reverence, a life of thanksgiving –valuing Him, treasuring Him, a life of bringing glory to Him, obeying His Word, not for results or to feel that we’ve done well, that perhaps we’re more “polished up” because of well doing, but because He is worthy, because it’s what He asks of us, and because we trust Him. That’s loving God with our whole hearts.
“You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” – Jeremiah 29:13
(By the way, guess what….. we get to “idolize” God ??He can be our “hero” — and He’s the only One capable of it!)
In that moment I came to that kind of “woe is me” moment…
How quickly can things become “surface level” in our lives? How often I find myself living from the “surface” instead of from the deepest part of my heart… how I desperately need to be “recalibrated” every single day.
Oh God, help me to love You more wholeheartedly. Help me to live a life of true and authentic worship to You. A life that is lived from a heart that is loved by You, and that overflows with love and devotion because of that love from You. A heart that is fully immersed in Your love.
“I will give them a heart to know that I am the LORD, and they shall be my people and I will be their God, for they shall return to me with their whole heart.” – Jeremiah 24:7
“And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” – Luke 10:27
“For this is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord. I will put My laws in their minds, and inscribe them on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they will be My people.” – Hebrews 8:10
“Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, and seek Him with all their heart.” – Psalm 119:2
Perhaps this post was a little scattered today…. but I’m learning to care less about that, and more about just following what He wants.