For some reason I hesitated writing about this today, but then I thought maybe I should go on and write it.
Since around the time I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at 11 years old, I’ve struggled with my eating. And it’s not just “oh I had better not eat that piece of pie –I think I will though!” But more like distorted thinking and binge eating then mixing that in with self-hatred and then discovering a teen book when I was young about a girl who had Type 1 Diabetes and in the book she raised her blood sugar dangerously high on purpose so that she could lose some weight. And in the book, she did.
You do the math.
Over the last few years, the Lord has been working in me, and He took care of the eating disorder I had years ago, thankfully it never went much further. The Lord has taken me through the self-hatred issues, the unforgiveness in my heart, and the bitterness.
But just last year I realized that I was still struggling with stress eating — not to the point of eating a whole pie or a whole pack of chocolate bars, but I would eat the wrong foods and it would always happen at a moment I was upset or stressed out. Then I would feel bad after.
One day I came across a testimony of someone who dealt with stress eating and at the end, the person talked about how we can pray and ask the Lord to help us with our eating. So I prayed this… and asked the Lord to help me with my eating, to teach me what I should do, to help me with my will power, and to overcome the power that food had over me.
Before I knew it the Lord was walking me through some changes I needed to make and He was giving me the grace to do it. It was interesting how if I would go to eat something for the wrong reason I would get a strong sense of “no”and not give in.
I did lose some weight, but in my mind it was more about being healthy –changing my mind about food and eating the way I should so that I could be healthy. This body the Lord has given me is for a purpose.
If I’m sick and feeling horrible, eating junk all the time, what do you think I’ll be wanting to do? Hide away. Not be seen. Interesting, isn’t it?
The Lord is doing something within me. I’ve asked Him to heal me of Type 1 Diabetes, others have asked Him to heal me. I’m believing that by His stripes I am healed… and He’s taking me closer and closer to a complete healing every day.