I really don’t! Not even waterproof, because it just doesn’t work.
Truth is, I am likely to burst into tears at any given moment these days. They’re good tears though. Refreshing tears. USUALLY not crybaby tears.
I will admit, when I’m around people I do try and hold them back. Vulnerable statement, and I hesitate to say it, but sometimes I wish I could just let them go in that setting as I can when I’m alone. Maybe I’ll get over that concern of what others may think of me. I have a feeling I probably will.
But some of the most endearing moments for me have been when I’m just in tears before the Lord. There’s something that feels cleansing and freeing about those times.
I remember a couple of months ago, I was going through something really hard. Trying to lean on the Lord and trust until I came through it. But I was mowing the field and I was listening to “Almighty God” by Sandra McCracken and all of a sudden something happened and the floodgates opened and I thought, “oh my gosh, I’m mowing and weeping my eyes out, what are people going to think if they see me?” — “What’s wrong with her, is she having a mental breakdown? Did she lose a loved one?” Haha, no… just having a moment before the Lord. I’m alright. But isn’t it hard when we think of what others could think and assume about us? I am learning to get over these kinds of things, but it’s taking time.
But these moments are good moments. I so cherish the times the Lord has seen my tears and wiped them away, leaving me feeling hopeful and refreshed, comforted and kept. I often need these kinds of moments with the Lord.
Still, I don’t like those horrid mascara stain lines. No thanks. So I’m just not really wearing it anymore. 🙂