Lately I feel like the Lord is unraveling me.
He’s doing very deep things that I don’t even realize He’s doing within me.
Then something will rise to the surface; a revelation.
Time to peel back another bandaid, an ugly wound for all to see.
This is hard, it’s painful, but it’s so completely necessary to heal.
I love this line from a song called, “Satisfy” by Bethany Dillon,
“I do believe there is something going on
Where I cannot see
Deep in my soul
I feel the impact of the Mighty wind
Don’t know where it comes from
But I know where it’s taking me”
I love to think of the Lord doing the work that only He can do.
The work He does “behind the scenes” when it’s not time for us to know things yet. The moment that He first hears our prayer, being real with Him, our crying out for help, or when we lay down a situation we’ve tried handling ourselves, we give it to Him –and then He begins His work.
I do love to know what’s going on, to be in the know. Sometimes I’ll look over and see Jason laughing to himself at something quietly while looking at his phone, “What! What is it? You gotta tell me!” And sometimes he will just look at me and shake his head like, “Nope!” –He knows I like to know what’s on his mind but he doesn’t always let me know what it is. Haha
The Lord longs to show us what He has on His mind and heart, just as He wants us to share with Him what is on ours, but there are just some things we aren’t ready to know yet. We’ve got to work through some things first, we have to seek Him out and get to know Him even more to be able to know some of those things He has on His heart. I’ve grown to love the mystery of what He’s up to though, even when I don’t get to know what it is yet.
I remember a specific time I was going through something pretty big. I realized I was trying to do things to control the situation, and they always backfired. I remember a specific point when I threw the control of that situation down to the ground, crying out to God, and I remember telling Him that I was giving it to Him, no more attempts at doing things in attempt to fix it. I later found out what the Lord did right around a day or two or so of that prayer –the start of His working, the start of that heart work, He was putting things into place. Then He radically moved and spoke to this person during this time. Things started changing. But He later showed me this, He let me see the effect of my prayer and the effect of letting go, and I got to see how He started working in that moment I cried out and let go of it all to trust Him with it. It was radical, and when I found out what He did, man it made me feel so taken care of. He really jumped in and fixed it, He took care of me.
But to know that He has things on His heart and mind that He wants us to know, and as we get closer with Him He will share these things with us, yes even me, and even you…wow.
What an adventure we get to have with Him!
“By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place.” – Hebrews 10:20