“Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call “humble” nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, swarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seems a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.” – C.S. Lewis

I read this quote and then I realize that I’ve been thinking a lot about, “What is “humility” and “false humility”…

*cringe* *looks side to side* *looks within*

False humility is twisty. It’s confusing. It’s contradictory. True humility is pure and simple.

False humility is selfish. True humility is selfless.

False humility is insecurity. True humility is quiet confidence.

When we look at Jesus we see the perfect picture of true humility.

For a long time I never really understood what “false humility” is, and when I learned more about it, I discovered qualities of it within myself. This is hard to see and admit because we always want to think our own motives are pure! It’s hard to look into the mirror sometimes.

Looking into this mirror, I see areas where I have acted in a false humility, shooting myself down or disqualifying myself out loud so that I might be sure to appear humble, more concerned with appearing humble and how I might seem as the top priority. Man, it’s twisty! It’s easy to miss.

“True humility is intelligent self-respect which keeps us from thinking too highly or too meanly of ourselves. It makes us mindful of the nobility God meant us to have. Yet it makes us modest by reminding us how far we have come short of what we can be.” – Ralph Washington Sockman

Truthfully, it’s still hard for me to understand the depth of what false humility is, I just know that it’s fake, it’s counterfeit, and I want the real thing, don’t you? I want to be truly humble like Jesus, not a false humility just for show, just for “proof” of whatever I want proof to show.

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” -C. S. Lewis

Wow.

Now, why in the world did I attempt to write this post? 🙂 I am realizing that it’s hard to even write about this kind of topic without wondering what my true intentions are after learning more about this stuff. I’d like to think of it as more of a realization and a confession, but I think too, this is just another honest step in the journey. I just know I want a more “pure” and “simple” way than I have going on. Yet another area to be cleansed and be made more like Him.

So I’m going to decide ahead of clicking, “publish” on this to not be concerned about what this post may or may not say about me. It’s just another step in the journey to be documented.

–Heather