I am finding myself in a place of realization…. realization that God has taken me “somewhere” and is developing “something” within me, and it’s so strange to be just now discovering it.
It’s strange to be seeing myself do things that would be so out-of-character for the “old me” –to be doing things the old me would have never dreamed, and probably would have never wanted to do…or so I thought.
At 33, I am just now getting to know who I am.
Isn’t that strange? Oh, it’s so strange.
But you know, as I am seeing myself do things I never would have thought I’d do, and be things that I never thought I’d be, it’s so less about “me” than it has ever been.
So many years of trying, of not trying, of whining and complaining, of giving up, getting back up, starting again, me me me, falling down, getting back up, complaining some more, getting frustrated that I was the same old me, this person that I could not stand and surely didn’t think there would be any way for anyone else to like this person either…
Somehow something finally started the ignition. Something finally started. Something finally started the change and somehow that has led into a kind of transformation process that I know will continue for the rest of my life. I’ve got a long, long way to go, and I will until the day I die, but I do know that something changed over the last 2 years that hadn’t really budged for all of my other previous ones.
I’m just so thankful for the people in my life, the foundation the Lord has led me to. The Lord so lovingly started me there first because He knew that I would need this before these challenges came.
I’m just so thankful for the challenges the Lord has placed before me. Big and small. I can now begin to see some of the results of these challenges. How the Lord uses them to help us! Oh they are so hard, but the moment you start seeing things start to change…. somehow…. you’ll never ever want to go back.