Adventure, Challenge, Change, Fears, Habits, Hope, Identity, Life, Mindset, Morning Time, Obedience, Pain, Personality, Purpose, The Secret Place, Thinking, Transition, Trust, Weakness

12.9.18 – Discovery of More to Discover

I’m at the place of “oh wow, how did I get here?”

Consumed. Driven to dig and discover. To understand.

Yet, as I stand here with my shovel, all of the dirt in a pile behind me, I feel like there is so much more beyond the depths of where I am standing.

Always, so much more.

When I think back to where I have been, I can see how much my perspective has changed. Where I am has changed.

Last night I was reminded of a couple of songs that I used to listen to years ago. From what I can remember, I had each of these songs on repeat for an extended period of time back then, and yet I don’t think I ever even came close to understanding what these songs really mean until now.

It’s interesting to hear these songs today after not hearing them for many years. In the same moment these songs take me back to “then”, they also bring me to the realization that I am really only starting to understand certain depths and meanings, and from here I can also see that the depth only gets deeper and deeper. I only understand that there is more depth than I can comprehend. As I listen to these very familiar songs, I feel as though I am listening to them for the first time again, but as a completely different person.

In case you were wondering which songs I am referring to, listen to “If You Want Me To” by Ginny Owens, and “Burnin'” by Nichole Nordeman.

“If You Want Me To” by Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don’t know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I’m gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
‘Cause I’m not who I was
When I took my first step
And I’m clinging to the promise You’re not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that’s not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I’d never go alone
So When the whole world turns against me
And I’m all by myself
And I can’t hear You answer my cries for help
I’ll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

“Burnin'” by Nichole Nordeman

Started rubbing sticks together
I thought a spark would take forever
I never dreamt this fire would appear
When Moses saw the Bush in flames
And heard the branches speak his name
I wonder if he felt this kind of fear
CHORUS:
‘Cause I’m burnin’
Yeah, I’m burnin’
And I know I’m gonna blister in these flames
So I’ll stay here
‘Till this smoke clears
And I’ll find you in the ashes that remain
Used to be that I could say
My faith was one arm’s length away
From any flame that ever felt too warm
Asked for matches, but I recieved
A gallon full of gasoline
Now my cozy campfire days are gone
CHORUS
‘Knock with caution at the door’
They said, ‘Beware of what you’re praying for’
So I’ll stand here with my whole desire
In the middle of this forest fire
‘Till I’ve nothing left to show
And new life begins to grow…

–Heather

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