I am in the process of learning how to be willing to throw away my “reputation”.
I realize that there are some who are going to think I’ve completely lost my mind. Well, all I have to say to that is I am really glad to have lost some of that “mindset” that was driving me madly in the wrong direction for so many years. I say, “Finally”.
So here is what I want to share today…
It was last year, as I was writing in my journal, suddenly I started hearing something and I knew it wasn’t something I could cook up in my mind, so I stopped to listen for a moment and then hesitated, but then I started writing it down. It was so clear and unexpected that I heard Him begin with, “My Flower…” and then I heard Him speak and then I was reminded of scriptures that confirm who I am in Him –and it all absolutely melted me. That day He felt the need to give me a glimpse of how He cherishes me. Every bit of it was truth.
I am a very tender-hearted person, and in the past I’ve seen it as more of a weakness, as more of a flaw. But I am learning that the Lord is the ultimate tender-heart. ? I was kind of surprised and caught off guard that He would be so tender toward me and speak something like this to me. It was very personal. But that’s how He is though, right? He’s very personal if we are open.
Then of course, at that time I asked, “Lord, was that really You? Do you really speak like that?” Why is it that I can read in scripture that the Holy Spirit speaks to us, and then still disqualify myself of being able to hear something that He would want to speak to me when I know I’m positioned to hear? He has been teaching me so much about who He is so that I can recognize His voice. What a beautiful process He has been taking me through. His voice is the only one I want to hear. It’s the only one that teaches me more about who He has created me to be.
But you know, that is what my name “Heather” actually means, “Flowering” – at least it’s part of what my name means.
(of a plant) in bloom.
-capable of producing flowers, especially in contrast to a similar plant with the flowers inconspicuous or absent.
-producing flowers at a specified time or of a specified type.suffix: -flowering
I know that this is what the Lord wants for my life, which is part of the definition of the word “flowering”:
“To be in or reach an optimum stage of development; develop fully and richly.”
And you know, I feel like I have been doing a lot of “flowering” in my life lately, at the age of 33. As cheesy as that may sound. I want to continue to “flower” for the rest of my life.
God doesn’t want me to be a “wallflower”…He wants me to be “His Flower”. I was not created to blend into the wallpaper — to hide, as much as I’d like to sometimes, as comforting and as “safe” as that sounds. He has created me to grow. He has created me to “grow for Him”, for Him to “grow” out of me, for His glory to be shown. I was not created to remain under the dirt forever.