I’ll be honest. I’m struggling through this morning.
To sit down to write is a challenge today when it usually comes easily. So I’m just pressing into the Lord even more, asking Him to draw me close in this secret place with Him. I’m asking Him to quiet all the things on my to-do list, all the aches and pains and the tiredness, that all the things that are hindering me this morning will just fall away so that I can hear Him clearly and experience that closeness and quietness with Him. No matter how I feel, no matter how tired my mind and body may be, I can trust and know that He is here with me and that He is speaking.
I’m not really sure what I am to write about this morning, so I’ll just start and see what comes…
Where am I right now? What place am I in? Where am I standing?
I’m honestly in a strange place right now. I don’t know exactly how to explain it, but here goes…
It’s kind of one of those places where I have a lot of things swirling around me that I’m thankful for, that I’m excited about, good things… but I’m a little overwhelmed.
My mind is a bit overloaded. It keeps trying to decide that it’s just too much for me.
Yet, still I am able to function and do what needs to be done, and still I am able to have peace. It’s kind of one of those places where it’s best not to try and think about where I am too much, because it doesn’t make sense that I am able to do all of these things, it’s just best to keep pressing forward and keep going, no matter how tired or overwhelmed I may be at times, I know the Lord is with me and He will enable me to do what needs to be accomplished. He will prepare the way.
If I think about where I am too much, I’ll start to realize that technically I am not able to accomplish any of it in my own strength. That is both comforting and extremely uncomfortable at the same time– best to just let His peace come and not over think it. If my mind starts to kick in, I’ll surely start over thinking, so I’m learning to let my “famously overthinking” mind take a back seat.
So that’s where I am. Sort of like floating in the air bubble, everything swirling all around me. I can wonder “what would happen if this bubble bursts??”, I can choose look around at all the things I’ve got swirling around me, or I can choose to let go of the thinking and experience the peace of God and just keep my eyes on Jesus –trusting that He will do what He says He’ll do.
If you knew me years ago, you would know that I couldn’t handle but so much at a time without finding it necessary to go back into my cave and hibernate for at least a couple of days. I’m a classic introvert, probably to the extreme by nature. I do prefer to have my recharge time. But sometimes I don’t always have that luxury, and sometimes I just have to do what I have to do and depend on the Lord to get me through.
That’s where I am. It’s a good place to be, a challenging place to be. I’m thankful to be in this place, but I have to choose carefully where I allow my mind to go. I have to be careful that when I step “outside of myself” and look at where I am, what I am doing, then look at myself and what I’ve always considered myself “capable of and not capable of”…
I have two choices where I am standing:
- I can decide it’s too much, that I can’t do it because it’s “not me” to be able to do all of these things.
- I can decide that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and know that if He’s placed it in my path that I can take it on. I can just try my best and I can agree with the truth and let the peace and the strength come.
He promises His peace and strength to us. But guess what? We have to be in tough situations sometimes, impossible situations –our strength and capabilities must be gone –emptied out… to be able to experience His peace and His strength to the fullest.
This is truly the best possible place I can be. ✨
Thank you, Lord.
2 thoughts on “5.22.19 – An honest look at where I am.”
Hi Heather. It’s Maryann here. I just read your article on An Honest Look At Where I Am. That was such a word from God for me. Thank you ?
Hello Maryann – thank you so much for sharing this with me. That is just wonderful and encouraging to hear! Bless you!