The Lord is teaching me about this place of deep hunger that He creates within us.

He builds such a depth within us with a place of longing intended for Him, for His face, for His realness in our lives.

This hunger can really “mess” us up really good…

And we can allow that hunger to break us down, to mess us up and allow it to be what it will be before men–

or…

We can try to hide or suppress that hunger in attempt to not seem so “messed up” before men.

We can choose to hide the mess, to suppress the mess and vulnerability, and strive for an outward perfection.

But God doesn’t want our perfection. He wants our raw, honest mess. He can work with that. He can use that.

It is up to us what we do with the gift of hunger that He gives us. It’s nothing that man can cook up for himself. This capacity for hunger is a gift from God. We can cry out to the Lord and ask for it, but we cannot work ourselves up to a place of deep hunger for the Lord. It’s a deep capacity that the Lord creates for us, within us. When we are dry and don’t feel that deep hunger, it’s the Lord who we cry out to so that He will fill us back up with this powerful depth of hunger.

This hunger is an opportunity. What will we do with it?

Will we allow it to mess us up and look messy, or will we try to put it inside of a box and paint the outside all pretty and nice and organized so that it looks good before men?

This is what the Lord is taking me through right now. This is the place I’m in –learning how to be okay with being a mess for God. Tears, snot and all. (sorry but not sorry for the visual haha)

I don’t want to live in a pretty little box anymore. I want “my mess” to do what it is supposed to do as I hand it over to the Lord and say, “do with it what You want to do” –am I willing to look like a mess for Him? Am I willing to be vulnerable? Am I willing to be deeply broken so that He can put me back together in the way He wants to?

Am I willing to show and display my desperation for the Lord? Yea, I can write about it, but can I live it? Am I willing to let it come out of me? All I’ve got to say is Lord help me.

Are we willing to be broken when the Lord wants to break us and shape us, and tear down the pretty walls we’ve made for ourselves? Are we willing to give Him our mess to do with it whatever He wants to do?

It’s surprising how He can use it.

It’s beautiful how He can use it if we’re just willing to let Him. ?

-Heather ?