I’ve been remembering back over the last year or so of my life. It started coming together a little more yesterday, and into this morning. Suddenly I’m seeing a larger part of the puzzle coming together…
I can’t remember exactly when it was that I cried out to the Lord in my lowest of lows of this portion of my life, I believe it was a few years ago now –maybe more than a few, but I asked the Lord in a frustrated, desperate, broken moment,
“Lord, I don’t want to miss out on what You’re doing. I don’t want to miss out on being able to be used by You. I don’t want to miss out on my purpose because of hindrances and issues that cause destruction in my life, that put up a wall between me and You, and between me and others. Help me! I know I’m in a really bad place right now, and I’m even afraid to ask You this right now God…I’m even afraid of YOU as hard as it is to tell You this right now, but please don’t let me miss out, don’t let me do this to myself, to You and to others. I want to be a part of what You’re doing –somehow.”
Over the last few years the Lord started taking me through some challenges. Over the last 2 years, and in the last year especially, things intensified –picked up the pace.
I started hearing the Lord speak directly to me, and I started writing it down and hanging onto it. I’ve felt utterly compelled to face fears and challenges, with no one pushing me… it was the Lord drawing me, encouraging me, calling me out of hiding in the dark and into His light.
I’ve had this sense of “I have to keep moving forward” whatever that means, and whatever it takes.
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” – 1 Peter 2:9
There have been a lot of frustrated tears, but every time that I’ve run straight to my Heavenly Father, He’s always wiped away my tears, refreshed me, and nudged me along my way. Jesus has given me victory — He’s always leading me into victory.
I know it was the Lord who put this fierce drive, this sense of being utterly compelled to do things that I would never choose to do as the “Heather” that I’ve been most of my life.
I did ask Him for it. He is faithful, you know. ☺️☀️
Earlier this year while going through an intensified challenge I sensed that the Lord had “something big just around the corner” but I had no idea what in the world it could be. We were in a place where hearing from the Lord and having clarity was absolutely critical. We could have gone one direction and I know now that if we would have, we would have missed out on some things God was wanting to do right here where we are. We would have been pulled right out of where we were supposed to be.
“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” – Job 42:2
Isn’t it amazing when we can look back and see how the Lord led us through a dark and foggy place… we can see how He leads us through the valley, at times even carrying us when we can hardly see to take the next step.
When God is wanting to do something, the enemy will often try to set up traps to thwart us. But there is good news! There’s nothing the enemy can do that will mess up anything the Lord has set His mind to do.
The important and crucial thing is this….
“Am I willing? Will I listen to the Holy Spirit inside of me that’s driving me forward? Will I embrace the hunger He places inside of me? Will I not let fear hold me back anymore?”
Because the Lord won’t “make us”. He calls out to us, it’s up to us to respond. But if we listen to Him, if we take that step, He will give us a fire inside that will propel us into impossible situations. He will give us a hunger, and He will give us a drive to take another step and another step and another step. We will get to see Him do the impossible right before our own eyes, even with our own hands.
Thank you Lord for what You’ve done, what You’re doing, and what You will do. 💝