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7.11.19 – “God, are You really asking me to do that?”

“Or, you may fall on your knees and pray – to God’s delight! You’ll see God’s smile and celebrate, finding yourself set right with God. You’ll sing God’s praises to everyone you meet, testifying, ‘I messed up my life – and let me tell you, it wasn’t worth it. But God stepped in and saved me from certain death. I’m alive again! Once more I see the light!'” – Job 33:26-28

This could very well turn into quite a vulnerable and transparent post… we’ll see what comes of what the Lord has been showing me, what He’s been dealing with in me…

How can I say this? I am discovering areas in my life where I am not fully submitted, not fully yielded, not fully surrendered. The Lord is bringing these areas to the surface, bringing them into the light and to my attention, and I’m thankful for that. Even though I am in the middle of dealing with these things, I feel a sense of relief that God’s going to help me through the “next thing” in my life that I am to deal with.

“But God, how would that make me appear? Please don’t ask that of me. Why would You ask that of me? Are You really asking that of me? Could we just do it “my way” instead? Could You perhaps tell me ‘why’ You are asking that of me, and then maybe once I understand that I will understand the significance enough and then I’ll be more willing?”

*eeeerrrrr.* (in case that doesn’t read the same way it sounds in my head it’s a big, fat buzzer sound)

Oh Lord, those areas in me that don’t want to let go and yield to You, I despise those things! I don’t want those things. I so need Your help.

Thankfully, that’s what He’s doing. All of these things in me that I’ve not really had to notice or deal with in a real way are surfacing (they kind of have a way of surfacing at just the right time) and here they are, right here in my face, and I’m dealing with these ugly things, me and God.

So Lord, thank You for surfacing these ugly things that You want me to deal with, things You are wanting me to face, things You want us to deal with together. I know that while I’m living in this body, I am always going to be wresting against my flesh. I’d like to think I’m obedient, but how obedient am I, really? How obedient am I when it comes to the things I really, really don’t want to do?

So I will say this, knowing it’s a “dangerous” thing to say…Go ahead and put the “pressure on” me God, I need it. Knock out any stubbornness within me in this training ground. I know it’s for my best, and I know that this life is about so much more than just “me”. It’s so much bigger than “me”. You have a reason for every single little and big thing You have me do, or not do – You owe me no explanations. I am simply to trust and obey. I need Your help, Jesus.

And He shows me these things in the most loving way, tugging at me, letting me know,

” *nudge* Daughter, here’s something we need to work on together. Because I love you, and I want nothing to come between us. I want nothing to keep you from where I want to take you. We are knocking out hinderances together, remember?”

Thank you, Father. You’re such a good Father. Thank You for Your forgiveness, and Your grace and mercy. You teach me in a loving way, and I feel no condemnation, only so much hope for where You are taking me. You are my only hope. Jesus, You are my strong foundation – my example, and my strength.

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 15:57

-Heather 🌺

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