Can I just write honestly and be real and raw with you this morning? Can I just write from the real place I have found myself in?
Last night I took my pile of concerns, frustrations and worries to the Lord… I didn’t like what was surfacing, I didn’t like where my attitude was heading. (Have you ever been there?)
My sudden pile of concerns and worries brought out some things still hidden within me that were very ugly. So I ran to the Lord, and showed these things to Him.
In all honesty, His response made me want to “pout” for just a second, but in the next second, beyond that moment –I understood, I saw …and I knew that He was allowing these things to surface in me so that I could ask Him to work in me, and so I could deal with these deep things within my heart that have been causing me to fear and causing me to worry in certain areas of my life.
He revealed an area in my heart where I have not had the peace of God because I have not been fully resting and trusting Him in this particular area.
Life has a way of causing things to surface. Yet another hidden area.
But here’s the real and honest conversation I had with the Lord:
(After taking my frustration and concerns to Him)
“Haven’t I looked out for you all these years? Haven’t I protected you? Haven’t I led you?”
“Yes, Lord… but it’s been a roller coaster at times, and it’s not been easy, and at times it’s been scary, and at times it has felt like a ‘close call’ to being pulled off track….(as I heard myself say these things I quickly realized where I was in my mindset…) but Yes, God, You have always been faithful to protect us and keep us on our path…thank You. Will You help me?”
“I never promised you an easy, convenient, normal life. Get used to it.”
“I have promised I will never leave nor forsake you.”
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6
“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” – Deuteronomy 31:8
How easy it is to get into the mindset of thinking we “deserve” things….even subconsciously, things creep into our thinking that we don’t even realize are there.
God is the only One who will never let us down, who will never leave us, nor forsake us. We can’t expect any human to live up to that. We can’t expect to deserve to never be inconvenienced, we can’t expect to not be hurt or disappointed or let down by others at times. Sometimes it’s easy to start expecting to “deserve” these things, isn’t it?
But, we are not to worry, for God will care for us. He will guard and protect us, and give us wisdom. Even when we feel let down, even if we feel like we walk into threatening territory we can know that God will never let us down in the ways that are eternal, we can trust that He is with us, and that He knows where He is leading us.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” – Isaiah 41:10-13
He’s aways faithful to remind us, and to reveal what’s truly within us, and then He helps us to fix these hidden areas that are dangerous to ourselves and to others in our lives…
But man, when they surface, these things sure are ugly. And sometimes there is a second when I want to “pout” about the hard truth…
But in the next second I understand, and I’m glad and refreshed to know the truth, and I’m hopeful and I’m reminded and thankful that I am reminded to remember that God is leading me, and He is teaching me, and He’s shaping me, and He’s guiding my life. I have no reason to worry or fear. He is trustworthy.
“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” – Psalm 27:1
Life isn’t easy… and many days “life” is working out these things within us that would seem easier just to keep tucked away….
But God is Light, and He loves us, and He’s going to shine that loving, revealing light into us, because He wants us whole, He wants us unhindered, and He wants us to walk in our purpose. He wants us to see clearly.
I trust You, Lord. Forgive me for my bad attitudes, thank You for shining Your revealing Light into my heart. Thank You for surfacing these ugly things so that You and I can take care of them and keep moving forward. You are faithful to help me to stay out of my own way. Thank you, God!
2 thoughts on “10.2.19 – Writing honestly from this place…”
This piece really spoke to my heart! I have been in this exact place many times. How comforting to know that someone is here also, some one else has been angry, someone else has said things they are sorry for. How comforting to know that if we repent, God is faithful to forgive and also FORGET! Praise God, how merciful and loving He is. He knows the good intentions of our heart, and forgives when we are not our best selves! How glorious to know, and how much security we feel, that we have a God/Father who is with us for the long haul…He will never lose His grip on our hearts and souls!
Amen, Teresa!! Thank you for writing me! Bless you! – Heather