This past week, the Lord took me back to the place (the memory, as well as the physical location of where it began) in my life when I had a crucial decision to make –I was given the opportunity to forgive, and to ask forgiveness… and to begin my life –to really begin my life as I let the old one finally begin to die.
This realization that I needed to forgive, that I needed to repent, that I needed forgiveness, was the very beginning. It was the first step onto the “stepping stone” that would lead me into the journey of transformation in my life.
I had been saved and baptized since when I was a young girl, but it was almost like the journey of true transformation was on “hold” until I realized that I needed to walk in forgiveness. It was almost like I walked in blindness. It was like I was only “sleep walking” until the Lord woke me up.
I look back and remember how hard that time in my life was, and how the enemy tried so hard to keep me from the realization of what I needed to do.
But I felt the Lord put such an intense stirring within my heart… and He began to lead me through this crucial “unlocking point” in my life.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32
Do you know that it was not too long after I had begun that process of living forgiveness that I met my husband, Jason? After I went through this step in my life, it was like I knew “something” (or someone ?) was just around the corner. Sure enough, he was. Then I began a whole new chapter to my journey… haha ☺️
When I asked the Lord what was on His heart for me to write about this morning, I clearly heard the word, “forgiveness.” But honestly, there was something within me that thought, “Really? Lord, why are you taking me back to this one… these memories…? Why would anyone want to or need to read about my story of forgiveness?”
And then I realized what my questioning meant…what it signified within me.
I needed to remember the Lord and reflect on what He did in this area of my life. I was beginning to lose sight of the significance, and the weight of forgiveness. Who cares if anyone reads these words, I needed to be reminded of that significant and crucial turning point in my life. Oh, it’s so important to remember these moments with the Lord, to keep the significance of these moments alive and awakened within us.
Forgiveness was a crucial turning point in my life, it was the beginning point of actual transformation and waking up. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, and one of the most powerful moments in my entire life so far. It was the moment I felt His strength carry me, so literally, helping me and taking me through the beautiful process of forgiveness. We can trust Him to walk us through these kinds of things when He leads us to them, no matter how impossible they may seem.
Father, thank You for this reminder, for taking me back to these beautiful and painfully healing moments in my life when You intervened and You opened my eyes as You began to awaken me… You began to awaken me and lead me into be(coming) the daughter You always dreamed me to be. I never want to disregard or forget this beginning step of “forgiveness”…. because it’s the reason for the cross. It’s what the cross is all about. If You didn’t forgive all of us and take us in, there would be no hope for any of us. So thank You, Father. Thank You for doing what You did, a thing that I know must have so broken Your heart more than we can comprehend. Thank You, Jesus for what You did for us –You are the reason for our hope, You are the way we can be transformed. ?