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10.20.19 – “Examine my heart and my intentions, Lord”

As I was sitting here before the Lord this morning, a thought came to mind, that I knew I was to write down, but somehow I got distracted before I could get it written down.

Moment of Honesty: It came back as I lost my “agenda” of wanting to get something written today, in a shorter timeframe, because I thought I might not have enough time to take time.

*ugh* ?

Yes, I said “agenda” – I examined my heart and found an “agenda” other than simply writing out of the overflow of a closeness with the Lord this morning.

I didn’t like this discovery, it felt ugly, and so I just stopped and asked Him to forgive me for that, and resubmitted my pen to Him. I just laid it down. Told Him if I never wrote another word again, that it would be fine if that’s what He wanted.

Well, it wasn’t, but I do think He wanted to show me something that could cause destruction to the closeness I have with Him. He reminded me to check my heart for any “agenda” other than simple devotion to Him.

I’ve actually been thinking a lot about the word, “agenda”….

“the underlying intentions or motives of a particular person”

We all have underlying intentions and motives, but is there something hidden behind an agenda within our hearts? Is there something hidden that shouldn’t be there? Is there something impure hiding in my heart? The answer is probably “yes” most of the time, but thankfully the Lord can show us these things so that He can make us right and keep us on track.

“But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.” – Jeremiah 17:10

“…would not God have discovered, since He knows the secrets of the heart?” – Psalm 44:21

“Look deep into my heart, God, and find out everything I am thinking.” – Psalm 139:23

Intentions can so easily hide “wrong agendas.” This can sneak in when we least expect it.

But… there is hope ☀️ because I know that all I have to do is keep an open heart before the Lord, and He will quickly remind me, and He will quickly show me. If my heart isn’t hardened, if it’s not offended or bitter, and if it’s open toward Him, He will quickly purify and refresh my heart. My intentions will be washed clean, and I’ll be renewed.

Thank You, Lord. You always help me to deal with the hard things, the things I don’t like to deal with, things I don’t like to face. I don’t have to deal with those things on my own, You’re right there to help me through. I’ve learned to love “learning lessons” with You, God. You somehow make all of this a beautiful process, because it’s Your way, not mine.

-Heather ?

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