I’ve always considered myself to be more of a “behind the scenes” kind of girl.
Yes, I do like to be understood, but I prefer to dwell in a place that’s not in the center of attention, not in the center of the conversation, not the main focus, and definitely not in the spotlight.
“Behind the scenes” is my comfort zone, and it’s where I prefer to be.
It’s quite a stretch for me to be anything other than an observant “flower on the wall.”
But as I walk this journey with the Lord, as I walk closer and closer with Him, as I learn to become “less and less,” allowing Him to become “more and more,” I’m finding that a lot of the time, He wants to nudge me out of that hidden place in the shadows.
When I want to just stay “under the radar” I’m finding that He so often leads me to step “into the light”…. 🙃☀️
If I’m truly listening, if I’m truly following, if I’m truly obeying, if I’m really tuned in, if I’m not avoiding…. I’m discovering that He’s often asking me to step out of the place I prefer to be in –the unseen, behind-the-scenes places.
And, I’ll be really honest, in many ways, this terrifies me! It makes my knees shake!
I ran for so long, I hid in “safety” for so long….and as I began to turn back toward Him, as I honestly began to listen for His voice in my life, He so daringly began to take me into the opposite direction of where I was attempting to take myself.
“God, what are You doing?? Lord, why can’t I just live safely and comfortably in the shadows and on the sidelines? Why are You nudging me into these vulnerable, open places in the light? It’s easier to be unseen! You know me, Lord.”
Yes, He does.
He knows what I need, and what He needs –so far beyond what I think I know.
“Oh Lord, it’s so painful sometimes! It so goes against what I want to do!”
But just because something is “comfortable” to me, does not mean it’s good for me, and it certainly doesn’t mean it’s in His will or in His plans for my life.
Earthly comfort can be deceiving.
So He’s teaching me to throw away “earthly comfort” and He’s showing me that I can turn to Him for the “comfort” and “safety” I need while I’m doing the hard things.
His comfort is far greater than any kind of comfort this world can offer.
Thank You, Father. I’m learning to trust You in these challenging places.