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5.7.2020 – “Am I going backwards?”

I had a moment of discouragement with myself yesterday…. and the enemy tried to take it and run with it.

But what have I learned to do?

Write about it.

Backfire it in the enemy’s face.

Lately I’ve struggled with the feeling of being anxious of “falling behind or going backwards”…..not wanting to “fall” backwards into old struggles, old ways of thinking, old patterns…. but the Lord has been so faithful to remind me that when I’m walking with Him by my side, I need not worry over my journey.

The enemy will attempt to convince us that we’re “falling behind,” especially in a time like this.

But I can trust God to get me exactly where I need to go, because I’m hanging onto Him, and I’m walking closely by His side! ?☀️ …and He and I are certainly not going backwards…

As many of you may know, I’m quite a bit of an introvert. No, I no longer hide myself away as I used to (well, except for “stay at home” orders), and I don’t run from living life, but I do like to have times of quiet to collect my thoughts, and to process this life, and sort through all the things in my head.

Well, let’s just say that I’ve had more than plenty of time alone lately, and as they say, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing”….

My struggle? I do sometimes struggle with communicating my thoughts verbally —yet writing comes so easily. ?How I love the adventure of finding the right words to write…

But I’ve found myself in a state of such introversion lately that when I do find myself in social situations these days, and I’m interacting with people, having conversations, I feel like (note, “feel” like) I’m extremely rusty, it’s feeling extremely hard to get my thoughts out, verbally, the way I’d like to, and it makes me concerned that I’ve “gone backwards” in the progress that I’ve made in this area of my life over the last few years.

That’s when the over the top, ridiculous thoughts came…

“Oh no, am I even going to ‘make it’ out there again? Is this ‘social anxiety’ coming back worse than ever? What’s going on with me? Will I ever be able to get my thoughts out verbally again? This is really hard and really frustrating….

“…maybe I should just become a monk.” ?

“…maybe I’d be better off just remaining hidden away after people start going back out and having social interaction again…I’m better at this.”

“God, what’s going on with me?”

Me, to my mind, and especially to the enemy:

“I mean, come on, really?”

And that’s when I had to stop, and take a moment, sort it all out with the Lord, and I then I remembered this….

What has the enemy tried to do for my whole life?

He’s tried to shut me down, in one way or another.

Especially my “voice”…

Why does the enemy try to shut anything down?

Because he wants to put a stop to something good that God is doing.

Well, the good news is, I’m already victorious, in Christ.

No matter what my personal struggle could be, in Christ, I can do anything —especially the “impossible” things. ?

He’s promised me that whatever He takes me to, He’s going to lead me through, He’s going to make a way for me to overcome.

“Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.”—Mark 10:27

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”—Philippians 4:13

No, I’m not going backwards. I’m moving forward. ⛰

And with God, I’m going to burst right through whatever struggle may be before me, because He is with me, and He’s living within me.✨?☀️

What do we do when things get hard? We ask God for help, and we keep going.☀️

Thank You for the reminders, Lord. Thank You for setting my mind straight… You give me authority over my own mind, but Father God, You also know that sometimes I need reminders from Your heart. Reminders of how You see me, and what I am truly capable of overcoming, in Christ. Thank You, Father. ?

-Heather ?

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