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6.21.2020 – “What if it was different then?”

I used to have panic attacks when I was alone at night time.

Even as an adult, I would have to do things to distract myself so that I could eventually fall asleep… sometimes I did, and sometimes I didn’t. Anything little thing would spook me, thoughts and imaginations would go through my mind that would trouble me and keep me skittish and on edge.

This morning, as I awoke from such a peaceful and restful time of sleep, I was reminded of just how quite the opposite my life used to be in the area of sleep, in the area of “nighttime”…

Anything to do with “nighttime” as a kid, was like torture to me, the enemy terrorized my mind as a little girl, and into my adult life, until one night I woke up in terror because I felt like “something” was there in the dark, and I woke up my husband and he could hardly comfort me. Fear had gotten so out of control in my life. Something had to change…

And now I look at what God has been “growing” in the night time part of my life… I look at what He had in mind, I look at what He had in store all along, and how He has been giving me these incredible dreams over the last couple of years, and He’s been getting me excited about discovering more of what He wants to show me through my dreams in the night.

…what if the enemy was trying to prevent this with every trick he had?

What if he was trying to shut that down—the beautiful, wonderful things that God had planned for my life, the beautiful wonderful, mysterious things my Heavenly Father had in store for me to discover…

I believe he was… but God….

I’m so happy to tell you that the Lord has led me into victory in this area of my life… and He was leading me there all along.

But what would have happened…. and who would I be, now…. if all of these “things”—all of those troubles and struggles and hardships never happened? If I had never had that level of resistance to deal with for all those years…

Would what I have now be as sweet and wonderful to me now? I wouldn’t be able to say, “Look at where I was then, and just look at where He is taking me now. Just look at what He did...”

He uses it all. ☀️ More than we know and understand.

Thank You, Father. You know what you’re doing…. and You unravel my life in the most wonderful and beautiful way. May the unraveling continue…

-Heather 🌺

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