The Lord has this beautiful way of leading us into a “heart check” when we need one…
And He never, ever asks us to do it alone. ?☀️
And if we dig into our hearts and take an honest look around— if we really take a look at our actions, our motives— the Lord will help us to realize if something has been hiding in secret.
He’ll help us to see the truth—
A truth that will set us free. ?
I want to tell you about the time in my life when He showed me I had jealousy hiding in my heart... ?☀️
“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”—Proverbs 14:30
Do you know, that God is the only one who is really capable of “doing jealousy well”? It’s really a whole different kind of jealousy than the kind we experience.
He does it with perfection. He does it because of His perfect love for us.
“For you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.” —Exodus 34:14
God’s form of jealousy is righteous.
His righteous jealousy shows us how incredibly zealous He is for us. ?
We don’t do “jealousy” well.
We tend to mix it all up with envy and insecurity covetousness and a whole big mess of complicatedness that can get really icky.
God knows it’s dangerous for us to have this kind of ungodly jealousy in our hearts.
Jealousy, for us, is described as “resentfully envious.”
“feeling resentment because of another’s success, advantage, etc.”
“But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don’t brag and deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come from above but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every kind of evil.”—James 3:14-16
You see, “jealousy” is the kind of thing that many of us want to deny defensively, and we want to deny it quickly and right away…
“….what me??? Jealous? Naw! I am NOT being jealous. Of course I’m not jealous! That would be ridiculous!”
“Jealousy/Envy” is a thing that most of us want to keep hidden, because, well—it reveals some complex weaknesses. To admit it takes vulnerability, to expose it risks embarrassment—at least from the way we tend to see it.
But this kind of “jealousy” (and this is the kind I am referring to as I continue forward) is like an infection when it hides within our hearts—and not only can it infect us, it can deeply harm others in our lives.
Jealousy can be hard to deal with because admitting to it can make us feel quite vulnerable and exposed, we feel damaged and messed up.
If there is jealousy in our hearts, we often act as if it “couldn’t possibly be in there”—we might deny it, and yet we act and react in ways that reveal that it really could be hiding in there.
But we have to come to the place where we realize that, “This thing in my heart is ugly! And not only is it ugly, I’m realizing that it’s deadly…”
That’s how I used to be. But God has freed me of it. ??
While it was hiding in my heart for many years, I didn’t want to think, to realize, or admit… that yes, it was hiding within my own heart.
I would deny it, deny it, deny it….but I knew deep down that it was in there.
I was denying it because I wanted to avoid it, and I was avoiding it because I didn’t know how to deal with it.
Jealousy is complex.
But God knows how to untangle the mess. ?☀️
The Holy Spirit started revealing to me that yes, something was going in on in my heart that needed to be dealt with. It was too deadly and dangerous, and He loved me enough to let me know about it and He put it on my heart to deal with it.
He gave me dreams to show me, and He showed me through helping me to realize my own actions over time, He even allowed me to see what could happen if I didn’t allow Him to help me deal with it and remove it from my heart.
Do you know that jealousy/envy can be the thing to cause us to “sabotage” something SO beautiful that God is wanting to orchestrate in our lives?
God could be leading us to unite or to connect with someone, or to encourage a person and build them up, and jealousy/envy wants to prevent that by causing us to compare ourselves with them in an unhealthy, envious way or develop ill feelings toward that person.
Jealousy can tempt us to do some pretty hurtful and selfish things….it can lead us into some extremely irrational behaviors.
Jealousy wants to see us taken out, and it wants to make sure we take others out as we “come crashing down.”
I will tell you, that a root of jealousy is not an easy thing to deal with.
It can get all twisted up in our hearts.
It can feel, at times, like it’s impossible to break free of, especially if it’s a root that began in the family, generations before.
But God…nothing is impossible for Him!
Nothing is impossible with God! And HE wants us FREE of jealousy, even more than we want to be free!
If you believe you are struggling with jealousy/envy/comparison… I encourage you to talk with the Lord about it.
Just have an honest heart-to-heart with Him.
Ask Him to show you…
You don’t need to be afraid of what He might show you…
You don’t need to be afraid of what you might find in there.
You are safely surrounded in His love. ?
If He shows you that there is jealousy/envy in your heart, thank Him for showing you, come before Him in humility, run to Him in repentance…
He forgives you for it all. ☀️
Now let Him uproot it, ask Him to pull it up and to remove it from your heart, all the way through the generations before you.
Open your heart before Him, and hand over the pieces of your broken heart….
Now let Him do the mending that needs to be done. ? ?
Trust Him with the pieces. Trust Him with His process. ?
And keep pressing into Him! Keep allowing Him to lead you in His way!
You will be tempted. You will be tested.
But He will be faithful to remind you. ?
Keep opening your heart to Him, cry out to Him to show you how He sees you, to show you what you mean to Him…
He knows your heart, and He loves you unconditionally.
And let Him uproot that root of jealousy!
And He will pull it up, and He will pull it out….
And He will set you free. ?
Keep trusting Him, keep turning when He shows you where to turn…
Keep a heart of repentance, if you stumble again, decide to turn and run to Him right away, the moment you stumble, whenever you mess up, whenever you struggle again….
And He will see you through. ?
And sometimes it may try to “grow” back a little bit, but just run to God every time until the root has been completely removed.
He’ll finish the work He’s started in you, just keep hanging onto Him.
Remember, He wants it even more than you do!
…And one day, you’ll look into your heart again, as you find yourself in a situation that used to sting your heart with jealousy…. but it isn’t there anymore. ?
And you’ll know that you’ve been set free. ? You’ll know your heart has been healed and made new. You’ll know that He’s taken you through such a beautiful healing process in your heart. ?
Yes, sometimes it can be a process. It was with me.
But let Him take you there… and trust Him even if it seems to happen slowly.
He knows how to time it best. ? You’re one of a kind and unique. He knows exactly what kind of mending your heart needs.
But it all starts with acknowledging it, it starts with facing it before your loving Heavenly Father, who knows all things, a God who loves you unconditionally no matter what condition your heart is in.
He’s a God who is with you “in the middle”…
And He will see you through. ?☀️
Thank You, Father. ? Thank You for “loving me through” this thing and bringing me to the other side. And thank You that You’ll continue to love me through… no matter what I could ever face! ?