It’s not easy to write, so publicly, from the place of being
“right here in the middle”
“in the hard part of the process”
It’s a pretty vulnerable place to be.
“*gasp* I can’t let anyone think I’m in the middle of a struggle! I don’t want anyone to know that I’m wrestling with something…”
Have you ever had thoughts like that?
And then you catch those thoughts and realize how ridiculous and unhelpful they really are?
It’s much easier to tell of—or write of things in life, when I’ve made it though to the other side of the struggle, and it’s now behind me.
And yet here I am, with questions on my heart that are suddenly not so easy for me to bring to my Heavenly Father, but I’m bringing them to Him because my heart is open to Him.
And as I’ve suddenly found myself “in the middle of this place”—I’m having to wrestle through these things before my Heavenly Father.
And for some reason God has me writing about exactly where I am, precisely “right here, and right now.”
And it’s okay.
It’s okay to be “still in the middle” of these kinds of things.
Why do we feel that we need to hide what we’re going through, until we’ve made it out to the other side?
It takes a little more vulnerability, and a little more bravery, to tell, or to write about these things…
When we’re still right smack in the middle of going through it.
And I don’t like it.
Oh how I would love to be able to just snap my fingers and be on the other side of this.
…But what if God has made plans to make GOOD USE of
me—being exactly in the place that I am
right here, right now?
The place of experiencing where I don’t know exactly what God is going to do…
Or how He is going to do it…
Or what He is going to ask me to do…
And I don’t know why I haven’t “seen it” yet…
And I don’t know exactly “how” He is going to see me through…
But I know He LOVES me, and that He WILL lead me through.
That’s what He’s promised to do.
But He still loves me just as much,
exactly where I am,
right here, right now.
And you know, that’s all that I really NEED to know.
And then it’s like I can hear Him tenderly say…
“…I have you in the middle of this place for a beautiful purpose!
And I am painting the bigger picture that you cannot yet see…
…A picture filled with beauty, and with glory, and with majesty!
My Daughter, keep trusting Me.”
And I remember how beautifully He does the deep, deep things—wonderful things…
I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it, I know it.
“Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!”—Psalm 34:8
In times like these, there is an opportunity for our relationship—me and my Heavenly Father— to deepen, to grow even richer with stories and memories of us walking through these times together.
So I’m taking a deep breath…
And I’m writing from a place that I don’t really love “reporting from”…
But I know…
That I am loved by my Heavenly Father—right here, right now.
Even when I don’t understand Him.
Even when it feels like it hurts my heart to not understand.
I know that He will make all of this beautiful in His timing.
I KNOW Him, and He’s helping me to KNOW Him even deeper.
And I’m clinging to Him.
Thank You, Father. 💝 I praise You from right here in the middle!
-Heather 🌺