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3.15.2021 – Pain that Leads into a Beautiful Opportunity

There are moments in the process of heart and mind healing, when something is so painfully triggered

And in these moments of intense pain, we are faced with a choice.

We can take the spiraling, downward path that leads us into darkness and deeper destruction…

Or we can take a path straight to our Heavenly Father —an “opportunity”— that leads us into a clearing of deeper healing, deeper freedom, and abundant life.

“Father! This hurts… it REALLY hurts. And I know that it shouldn’t hurt like this—and yet, it does. So I’m facing this thing, here with You, Father.”

These triggers are no fun. Ugh—they can be so hard to deal with because they can catch us off guard sometimes. Things can progress so quickly, and sometimes we don’t initially react in the way we’d like to.

But the triggers lead us to deeper wounds… and in facing the reality of these wounded places being there,

in realizing that “what I felt, so strongly, in that moment”

just needs to be taken straight to my Heavenly Father…

a Heavenly Father who, reminds me of the truth

that I always belong to Him.

He reminds me, that there is always room for me at His table.

He reminds me, that He always delights in my presence, I am not in the way.

He reminds me, that He always has a seat, just for me, there in His presence.

“…. and now the pain… is somewhat fading…. and in the clearing, I can now see this as an “opportunity“—an opportunity for me to experience Your healing in a deeper place of my heart, that’s been wounded for who knows how long. An opportunity for me to experience Your healing process in the places of my thinking that are all distorted. I can see now, that the lens I’m seeing through needs to be cleansed and repaired—and Father, only You can do this. And the truth is, Father… in the moment of pain, I’m feeling tempted to react negatively right now… I’m feeling tempted to give into self-condemnation, I’m feeling tempted to bash myself, to run and hide, to shut down and shut myself away…because it can seem “safer” there… it can seem “safer” in that place because it seems I wouldn’t have to risk feeling this kind of pain. But I know… that there’s nowhere safer than being right here, in the light with You, Father—even if my wounds are being exposed, even if what I’m looking at isn’t what I’d like to see, even if it’s not what I would like for others to see. Even if what I’m looking at and facing causes me to also face the temptation of shutting down and shutting myself away again. But here in Your love, I know that You’ll help me through… I know, that this is just another step in Your perfect ‘perfecting’ process…”

And it’s okay that I’m facing, yet another painful trigger point…

And it’s okay that God needs to heal some more things in my heart so that I am able to grow to live the way I was created and designed to freely live this life.

As Sons and Daughters, we’re all being transformed and shaped into who we really are made to be.

It’s okay, He knew that it would be this way.

It’s okay, because instead of going along with the temptations, the voices of shame and rejection that scream,

“See? You don’t belong. Did you really think you did?”

See? You’re just in the way.”

“And just look at how ridiculous you are for even feeling this way. Just look at you, what kind of a person are you, anyway? One that just needs to disappear…”

…but I run to my Heavenly Father,

and I tune into what He is saying to me. 💝

And as I tune in, with all of my heart...

With soothing tears, I begin to hear…

“My Daughter… I love YOU. See this for what it really is—an opportunity to run into a deeper revelation of My love. Let’s continue on this deep, healing journey—you and Me. Let’s keep moving forward as we face this wounded place. You’re safe in My love for you. You are exactly—where you need to be, right here with Me.”

And once again…

I begin to feel His love sink into the broken places of my heart—wounds both old and new.

And I begin to feel His love and peace soothe the broken, distorted places of my mind.

And I know…

That He is faithfully walking me through this.

And I know…

That He is clearing up and untangling the distortions in my mind that trigger the wounds in my heart…

And even if I step into “triggers” that are painful in this process—I know...

that He is already making something so beautiful

out of the pain…

out of the mess…

out of the brokenness…

And it’s ALL going to be worth it.

And it’s ALL worth it, even now.

Thank You, Father. 💝 Thank You for taking me through these things. I know You do it because You love me, and You want me to live as who You’ve created me to be—healed and free. So You allow me to be hit in these “trigger points”… so that I will learn to always run straight to You, and so that You can soothe and heal the wounds, and clear up all of the distortions and lies.

Oh, the enemy thought he had me, he thought he surely led me into a pit of destruction that I’d never escape, but God knew… He KNEW what He was leading me into, and He knew, He KNEW that in ALL OF THIS, I would run right into His love. 💝

Heavenly Father, You’re a good Father—thank You for helping me to be able to now see this as,

a beautiful opportunity

“So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”—Romans 8:15

-Heather 🌺

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