Well—here I am again…
Putting words onto the page…
Ever since I began writing on this journal site a couple of years ago, the amount of words that have come forth, has honestly surprised me.
I had no idea there were so many words, bursting within me—just waiting to come out onto the pages.
And honestly…
Sometimes I wonder about a day, that I will come to the table, and perhaps there won’t be any words to be written…
But at the same time I wonder…
How could that even be? ⛲️
We’ll see. 💝
But as for today…there are words to be written. 👩🏻💻☀️
A little while back, I found myself asking God…
“Father—what’s next?”
Little did I know…
…that He was about to take me into one of the deepest realizations I’ve ever faced in the area of my heart and mind.
And this thing He has been taking me through lately… it’s not felt very convenient.
Honestly, it has felt like this thing in my way that I just want Him to remove, “right now”… “God, will You just fix me?”
And He hasn’t just “fixed me”… but He is, “healing” me, He is “teaching me” in the midst of all of this.
I know that being in “this place” with my Heavenly Father, is the “right place to be.”
…this place of being “uncomfortable” in the “vulnerable place” of facing and recognizing, and learning to “be okay.”
But I know that with my Heavenly Father, “uncomfortable” and “vulnerable” is really the safest place I can possibly be.
I love this quote that I came across yesterday (yes, on the “First Day of Spring”)…
“We grow… in moments of discomfort.”
Coming into His light, is always the right answer. 💖☀️
Because when I’m in the place of being open and vulnerable before Him, in His light, not only does He give me the eyes to really “see” accurately, but He also gives me the “eyes” that can “perceive” the way He sees the situation, the way He sees me, and the way He sees the outcome. 🌈
And He reminds me, that He loves me—unconditionally— in the middle of being in place of “imperfection”—in the middle of being exactly who I am, “right here, right now.”
My “ugly crying” doesn’t frighten Him. ☺️
I am safe, to just be “me”…
Over the last couple of years, I’ve noticed a pattern of dreams that have to do with “vulnerability” and a certain level of “public exposure”… and yet in the dreams, I’m always “safe”—I’m okay. In fact, in one dream of being in a vulnerable situation in a public place, in the dream, I realize that even though I’m in a vulnerable situation, I’m covered by a beautiful robe, and I’m okay, I’m covered.
I’ve also had a few dreams over the last year or so, that have had to do with “my thinking” and I felt as though God was showing me that He was going to be giving me a “mind-makeover”… a “brand new look” in the area of my thinking.
…and boy is He doing a work in the areas of my heart and mind…
And you know, some days, this process feels like it’s stretching me a little more than I would prefer…
And sometimes, I don’t like the emotions and the pain that I have to feel in the moment…
But sometimes the pain needs to be experienced and felt in order to realize where the pain is stemming from.
No two hearts are the same.
No two hearts are healed in the exact, same way.
Recovery can be “fast” or it can be “slow.” God is personal—our “healing treatment” is completely unique with Him.
And I’m thankful, that while I’m living in this beautiful, “uncomfortable” place, I can find rest in knowing…
“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”—2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJV
Thank You, Father. 💝
-Heather 🌺