The thing about panic is…

it’s hard to escape it

while in the midst of facing it.

And I might be able to make

a good guess—a solid calculation

as to when

the fear may try to sneak in,

…but somehow

the panic

that comes with

sudden,

subconscious

anxiety…

…always seems to catch me off guard,

rather unexpectedly.

And the thing with panic is…

To be very honest?

I try

so

hard…

to act like I’m perfectly okay…

attempting to hide it,

to cover it up,

to pray—

or to “think it away.”

And not a soul may even notice

the “wrestling match” that’s going on within my head,

my throat clenching up,

the room closing in,

or the overwhelming sense of dread.

And others may not even recognize or see

the battle that’s raging…

…but that doesn’t make it any less real to me.

And Lord, I don’t understand

why You don’t always swoop in

…to quickly rescue me…

but Lord Jesus,

I know…

and

I

am

thankful…

that no matter what I must face

no matter what kind of mess

I may find myself in….

You’re always in it with me.

You take hold of my hand!

And so…

I will

face

this

thing…

once again.

Lord Jesus, in You,

I will continue onward,

in You,

I will take comfort.

In You,

I will stand.

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.”—1 Peter 4:12-14

-Heather 🌺